35 years ago today, my aunt was killed in a car accident. I was 9, and her daughters were 10 and 8. I remember that day so vividly, probably because it was the first time I questioned God and His reasons for things. What, I asked, could be the purpose of taking the mother of two little girls? My cousins were – and still are – like sisters to me, and I grew up feeling so sorry and so guilty that I had a mom and they didn’t.
My aunt Barbara was one of my most favorite people. I remember her smile, her voice, her gentle touch when she brushed my hair, and how she loved to spoil us girls with toys and ice cream cones. Soft spoken when you had an important question and quite the yeller when she was angry, Aunt Barbara was full of life and loved to have fun.
We girls grew up together, and my cousins, Chrissy and Julie, are two of the strongest, kindest, most beautiful women I know.
My mom once said to me, when I questioned God’s reason for taking Aunt Barbara too soon, “Maybe He felt that she could do her work better from Heaven.” You know what? I think she was right.
My uncle Jim worked hard as well. Devastated after the accident and feeling unequipped to raise two young girls by himself, he stepped up and found his own way. Such courage and strength.
When I question things that happen, I always try to remind myself that God has a grand plan … We’ll know and understand all of His reasons someday when we’re with Him. For any of us who have watched a parent of young children be called home by God, may we remember the power of a mother’s work – wherever she may be – and find comfort in it.
Love you Aunt Barbara, Chrissy, Julie, and Uncle Jim …
January 29, 1980
The World of Author/Mom Alicia Murphy! 
Alicia I can’t even….. I don’t know what to say. OMG. this is one of the most moving things I have ever read. I went to read it yesterday at work, got one line in and said “h no… can’t read this here”. Same thing when I got home- I wanted to be alone and uninterrupted. So here I am at 5:30 am- the perfect time. So, that is the reason for the delay in repsondong- didn’t want you to think otherwise 🙂 So… I rarely focus on or even think about “all of this” this is the life I know. Its the life Julie, my dad and I have lived for 35 years but to have you remember, acknowledge and write something like this…. holy shit. All I can say is thank you. It is so moving and special. And just to comment on the guilt part— OF COURSE, that is the last thing we want you to have ever felt but I get it. I’m gonna say it with Julie cc’d on this too. That is the same type of guilt that I feel between Julie and I. I am so appreciatve for everything in my life every single day and feel that life has been somewhat easy for me in many ways (probably the good that has come out of loosing my mother “in an instant”) and I am often pissed that things aren’t always as easy for Julie. I am not going to start naming things but we all know what those things are. Even this past weekend, we had a wonderful opportunity to stay at a slopeside home on Mt. Snow and 2 pretty big mishaps that were certainly not her fault put a big damper on her weekend. She barely got to even ski which she was so excited about. I am so angry that she and Sean couldn’t just relax, and enjoy and walk away with a perfect weekend. Anyway, life isn’t always fair I guess. Your parents are the perfect example of that as well nowadays. I think about them each and every day: the way they are both struggling- each in a diff way but nevertheless, life is difficult. The bottom line though is that whether near or far (hate the far part- by the way- ha ha) , we all have each other and for that… I am eternally grateful. LOVE YOU SO MUCH, and like I said in the text last night- I want to get my calendar out and pick a weekend for me to come down. I’m thinking March Have a great day!