Recently, upon watching me sing some weird, made-up song (with accompanying dance) as I
made her a sandwich, my 6-year-old daughter asked, “Mommy, what’s it like to be you?”
I stopped dead in my tracks (a.k.a. weird song and dance). This question was oh, so unexpected
and oh, so loaded. Quickly collecting my thoughts, I answered her with a smile.
“It’s great to be me. I have three wonderful children, a great husband, we’re all healthy, I
have terrific friends … and … I’m cool.”
My daughter just looked at me. Then she returned my smile.
“What made you think to ask me that?” I asked, frightened of her response.
“I was just wondering,” she said simply.
“What do YOU think it’s like to be me?” I questioned.
From the other side of the room, my 7-year-old son said, “Hard!”
Again, surprised by what I was hearing. “Why do you say that?”
“Because you have to put up with US!” shouted my daughter.
“Yeah, there’s a lot to take care of,” added my son.
Hmmm … Interesting. So, they KNOW it isn’t easy, and yet they continue to be
…themselves. I was puzzled. I wondered, Do I drive home the point that they
could make my life easier by cooperating and being kind to one another? Do I
embrace the idea that they see how much I do for them but they aren’t able to
look beyond themselves yet?
Fast forward a few days. Same 6-year-old daughter (who is all about being a pink
and pretty and sparkly princess right now) asked, “Mommy? Don’t you ever want to
feel pretty?”
Again, stopped dead in my (ugly, unstylish) tracks.
“Uh, yeah. I do … Doesn’t it seem like I do?”
“No.”
“Don’t you ever think I look and dress pretty?”
“Not really.”
Hmph. I wondered if my husband shared her opinion … No, wait, he wouldn’t notice.
He’s a guy. A married guy. I’m not who he’s noticing.
Fast forward to this week. My daughter’s kindergarten class is having Career Day. The
children will all dress up to show what they want to be when they grow up. I asked my
daughter if she had any ideas.
“Oh, yes!” she answered. “I want to be someone who puts make-up on other people and
makes them look beautiful.”
Shocking news. I guess I know who her first customer will be. I’ll have to be sure,
as she’s applying age-defying cream to my crow’s feet and cover-up to my brown splotches,
to remind her how HARD it was to be me and how much there was to take care of. I’m not
guessing she’ll buy it. Thank God beauty is only skin deep.
The World of Author/Mom Alicia Murphy! 
That was great. One of your best entries yet.
Thanks for reading!! 🙂
All SO true ! Hard to know sometimes what is enough/ too much/ not enough/ to say to our kids ! want to build their self esteem but not make them think that appearance is really that important. like so many other parenting issues… ahhhh !??!!
Yup, so difficult … Hopefully we can encourage their INNER beauty as much as their outward appearance. Maybe my daughter will catch on and return the favor! 🙂
Maybe her definition of beauty is just that… Pink and glitter. Also may be a teachable moment as a mom of a girl on what “real’ beauty is.. I know we did not grasp that until…uhhh… last month.