How many of us have realized that if we knew how
awesome (or un-awesome) our married lives would
turn out, we’d have had a lot more fun being single?
It’s true one way or the other. I can remember being
so anxious to find “Mr. Right” and so frustrated because
he was nowhere in sight. As I was about to turn 30, I
panicked and got engaged to the wrong guy. I won’t go into
the disturbing details, but he was awful. Thank God I had the
sense – and the courage – to walk away … No, to get the
HELL out of there.
On Wednesday, my husband and I will celebrate our 9th
wedding anniversary. Before we were married, the priest who
would be officiating at the ceremony spoke to us about being
realistic. He asked us if we felt that our “romantic love”
would ever fade. We both said no. What HE meant by romantic
love was the physical relationship. My idea of romantic love
was being the 80-year-old couple holding hands while walking
into the diner together to catch the Early Bird Special.
Unfortunately, both interpretations of “romantic love” can
fade a bit over time.
It’s been a hectic 9 years …
4 pregnancies, 3 children (we lost our first at the end
of my first trimester), 2 houses, 568 bottles of chardonnay,
job layoff, formation of a new medical practice, 3 goldfish
won at the Wilmington Italian Festival a year ago and STILL
LIVING, many new friends made, old friendships grown stronger,
weight gained and lost, happy times, sad times, and a ton of
memories.
In general, my husband and I have a very easy relationship.
We rarely argue (because he knows my word is THE word … Only
kidding. Seriously). We see eye-to-eye most of the time, and when
we don’t, we simply agree to disagree. Things are always more
complicated when kids come into the picture. There we were, a
pediatrician and an elementary school teacher-turned-stay-at-home-
mom, both with very definite ideas about how kids should be raised.
And suddenly it wasn’t so simple. Kids don’t come with instruction
manuals. There’s no “right way.” We just have to do what works for
us, our relationship, and our kids. We may never figure out the
parenting puzzle, but the journey is a fun (and always interesting)
one to take together.
We may not always be happy with every part of our married life or
our parenting world, but we can accept that every part of life comes
with challenges … And this acceptance can make us happy. It’ll never
be perfect, but the “happily ever after” is all about keeping things real.
The World of Author/Mom Alicia Murphy! 
Well said. Congratulations on 9 years and to many many more. Love having you guys as neighbors and hope I can help you finish many more bottles.