The World of Author/Mom Alicia Murphy!

I’ve written a book for parents called
(m)OTHERHOOD:Insert Humor Here and
recently submitted it to an agent, asking
for representation. These days, you need
an agent to get published (unless you’re
famous, which I am not … yet). The
frustrating thing is that it’s just as
hard to gain representation as it is to
get published. But I digress …

I submitted my proposal about a month ago,
with the knowledge that I won’t receive an
answer for 3-6 months. Tired (already) of
waiting, I found a publishing company that
sounded like it’s seeking the kind of book
I’ve written. When I looked at the company’s
website, I found that they seem to have an
interest in parenting books. Good sign. Another
thing I noticed is that they look for “a more
wholesome style.” Hmmmm … Wholesome. Suddenly
I began to question whether these editors would
appreciate my writing. What exactly IS a “wholesome
style?” If, theoretically of course, I started my
book by saying, “So you just peed on the stick and
were told by the home pregnancy test that you’re
going to be a mommy! Congrats! Bottoms up!” Would
that fall short of wholesome? How about referring
to people who judge others’ children and parenting
skills and calling them “Clueless Asshats?” Does
that fall into the “wholesome” category?

I get that there is a time and place for …
not-so-wholesome talk … It’s just that the “F” word,
if properly inserted, can automatically make a sentence
more enjoyable. We also have to consider the audience
of the book: young parents. While some may opt out of
the sailor-mouth style of speaking, it is true that
ALL young parents can relate to the nightmare connected
with the kid who takes too much confidence in a fart and
craps his pants. ALL parents can appreciate knowing that
they aren’t the only ones whose kids pick their noses in
church and then have nowhere to put the boogie. Okay, I
guess I’ve answered my own question. No, my book isn’t
wholesome by any stretch of the imagination … But it’s
real. And I sure as heck hope that some agent or editor
will take an interest in it. If not, I’ll be really
EFFING pissed!
Have a wholesome day now, y’all.

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